It has been a very long time since I posted a blog or even wrote anything… I have come to this conclusion in recent weeks that bringing something to light helps you overcome the thing you’re struggling with… So here goes…
I find it ironic that I chose the name A Brave Adventure for my blog, when praying about what to name my blog I felt the Lord leading me to that name… it must have been a foreshadowing of His promises for me. One of the biggest things I have struggled with in my life has been fear. Fear on so many different levels in almost every area of my life. Fear of death, fear of living, fear surrounded me. Every corner I turned fear was there to greet me, every thought I have fear permeates it and attacks even the happiest of thoughts. About a month ago I went up to our home church Dwelling Place Christian Fellowship in Christiansburg,VA to receive some ministry in this area. I was in a place of desperation, I was completely done with the blatant attacks of the enemy, every single day. My thoughts would go something like this: “I’d like for my family to go on a cruise together… ‘What if you drop Ansley off the ship.’” Something as crazy as that would paralyze me, I could feel the emotion, the pain of it all. I would be going about my day and a picture of Anthony, Ansley or myself getting hurt would pop into my head and I would again be able to feel the pain and emotion that would come with an event like that. I would hold my breath and wait for it to pass. Those types of moments would come very often, in the beginning of this struggle these instances were very few and far between but as the struggle became more deeply rooted the attacks became so blatantly obvious; I knew who was attacking me, I knew whose actions brought on these thoughts. It was almost as if the enemy saw how vulnerable I was to fear, how easy it was to catch me in a fear trap that he just went to town. I got to this point where I was just completely fed up and over this fear, it was hindering my walk with the Lord, my relationship with my husband and daughter; it was keeping me in the dark hiding from life. I didn’t want to go out and live life because I was afraid of getting hurt, afraid of pain and afraid of loss, so in my fear of death I was also fearing life… what a terrible pit I was in. And in a moment of frustration and annoyance of my circumstances I chose to bring my struggle to the light, I was embarrassed and ashamed of the level of fear I was walking in. I had concluded in my heart that it was my struggle to deal with, I had gotten myself in this mess and I needed to get myself out of it. Which is a complete lie from the enemy. The Lord saw my struggle and the fear in my heart and yet He loved me the same. My sin, my struggle wasn’t to big for Him to bring healing to. He came to give me life and life abundantly. The fear I was walking in did not disqualify my from His love, His perfect love which casts out fear. After an intense weekend of ministry full of emotion and freedom I finally felt the fog lifting from my life, I could breathe a little easier and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel I had become so comfortable in. Fear was and is not my portion. It is still a day to day thing of renewing my mind and declaring truth in every situation and there are time when I get lazy and fear sneaks up on me and attacks with success but in each moment I know the Lord is faithful, I know He loves me and I know that His perfect love casts out fear. I know that nothing can separate me from the Love of Jesus. I just have to take each moment, each day as it comes. And with every passing day as I choose the love of Jesus, every day as I choose to live life and not hide in fear I come more and more out of the fog and the more and more I know that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! I will live life as A Brave Adventurer!
If you are struggling with fear I encourage you to bring your fear to the light, the Lord is faithful, He will meet you where you are at and he will speak love to the areas of your heart and bring freedom and healing to your life.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, more powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
1 John 4:18
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”